Friday 6 January 2012

One year a-leaping!!

What am I grateful for that happened in 2011?

  •  I planned and redecorated all of my room, bought all the furniture and accessories
  •  I spent 11 weeks on placement with Tomorrow's People
  • I met Charlotte online and we grew to be great friends even before finally meeting at Momentum.
  • I became a squaddie adopter with Adopt a British Squaddie. To date I have had 5 soldiers.
  • I spent 2 wonderful weeks in Keswick this summer. A*M*A*Z*I*N*G*
  • I got a job: a job that I am thankful for and that I enjoy. Long may it continue!
 There are other things of note that I want to mention too; events that were significant for me:
  • I met Jenny on my placement and we became very good friends - she now has a baby!
  • I applied for the CRP for the 3rd time and didn't even get an f2f!
  • Mum and I went to the Forces Festival in Amesbury - and broke down on the way back...
  • I spent a lot of periods solidly working; day in, day out. Good for money, bad for soul :-)
And for 2012, I hear you asking/imagining/expecting.... What do I want?

  • I want to still have my job
  • I want enough work and enough free time to be/feel free and happy
  • I want to enjoy my youth
  • I want to see new things and meet new faces
  • I want to be the best I can be at all that I do
Any highlights?

  • Tckets for the Olympics in August!!!
  • Going to Whitby in February and Llandudno in April
 Practically  >
  • I want to be able to commit to a church family
  • I want to sort out my charity giving into regular and organised payments
  • We need to sort out all of our stuff and generally be organised & have routines and motivation to do all sorts of things that I'd like to; go to the gym, not hoard stuff, be tidy to all hopefully contribute to a carefree life :-D
 It won't be perfect but I'm quite looking forward to it: here's to the leap year, the year of 2012!!

Wednesday 4 January 2012

Just around the riverbend....

What I love most about rivers is:
You can't step in the same river twice
The water's always changing, always flowing, 
But people, I guess, can't live like that; we all must pay a price
To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing
What's around the riverbend: waiting just around the riverbend

What I like most about life is that there is always something, someone new just around the bend, in the next street. But people I guess can't live like that - always in a state of flux, always looking away from the now to the "wish it was" or the "that person has". Striving to have better is one thing, but to forget to give it all where you are, right now is something different. As Dumbledore tells Harry: It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. There are some dreams we have in this life that we have to put to bed because they simply will not come to be.

I look once more
just around the riverbend
Beyond the shore, where the gulls fly free
Don't know what for
What I dream the day might send
Jut around the riverbend for me...Coming for me

In my life I have dreamt about being a teacher, about working in Disney World, about being a social worker, about being a foster carer, about working in a museum, being a librarian, living with Uni friends, doing postgraduate studies - of gaining a doctorate. 
I don't think any of these dreams are meant to be - some of them are hard to part with, but we don't have to trample them down entirely. Moving the goal posts is somethimes enough to ensure that our dreams, hopes, aspirations and heartfelt longings follow us through the constant ebb and flow of life!
That is the main thing; Jesus said "I came that they may have and enjoy life and have it in abundance: to the full, till it overflows" [John 10:10 Amp Bible]. Sometimes doors are closed and others open as He guides our true path through life. How grateful am I for that! He doesn't mind what we do, it is how we do it that counts!!!

I feel it there beyond those trees
or right behind these waterfalls
Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming
For a handsome sturdy husband who builds handsome sturdy walls
And never dreams that something might be coming?
Just around the riverbend, just around the riverbend

After all He gave us the desires of our hearts in the first place; they're an important part of us and I like it that way. On the flip side of the coin however, is what Pocahontas alludes to here. Can she turn away from the mystery of the distant drumming and the promise it brings of exciting adventures and turn to the safety, the security, the future that is promised in marrying Kocoum? Can I, can anybody? Can we have a bit of both maybe? That is what I hope. Looking back at my blog from Sept where I list all the countries I want to see (the list is not exhaustive btw) I realise that by moving the goal posts and breaking that list down into smaller sections I could for example do a little Europe tour for a couple of weeks etc.

I look once more, just around the riverbend
Beyond the shore, somewhere past the sea
Don't know what for ... Why do all my dreams extend
Just around the riverbend? Just around the riverbend ...


I think what Pocahontas is alluding to here is quite applicable in life: we often wonder why our dreams don't match our current circumstances; ie "why do I not feel fulfilled in my current life"? Thankfully God's Word is on hand yet again to steer our course: advising us against letting our dreams become ambitions and our ambitions leading us to jealousy. 
Paul teaches the Philippian church and Timothy teaches the Ephesians that 1. Contentment must be learnt and 2. "Godliness with contentment is great gain" 1Tim6:6. Contentment is an active act of trust: God works in everything for the good of those who love Him (Rom8:28) and "those whom God had already chosen he also set apart to become like his Son" (Rom8:29 GoodNews Bible). If we, as Christians, don't think that becoming more like God Himself is not the best thing ever, then we need our predestined heads testing!!

Should I choose the smoothest curve, steady as the beating drum?
Should I marry Kocoum? Is all my dreaming at an end?
Or do you still wait for me, Dream Giver, just around the riverbend?


I like this passage at the end. Should she choose the steady secure life, or is big adventure just around the corner, just where we are. That is a powerful thought. Another powerful thought comes from Helen Roseveare (courtesy of Ruth sending me her amazing little book Enough) - these circumstances of our lives: family, relationships, finances, careers, acheivements; the ones that we can often moan about the most??  We are there, it is this way or that because God trusts us enough to be the bearer of His light just where we are.

With this in mind, I shall make a separate blog post with my reflections on 2011 and my thoughts and feelings about 2012. 
Happy New Year everybody.